After God had created Adam he noticed that he looked very lonely. He decided to help.
He said “Adam, I’ve decided to make you a woman. She’ll love you, cook for you, be sweet to you, and understand you.”
Adam said “Great! How much will she cost me?”
The answer came back, “An arm and a leg.”
“Well,” said Adam “what can I get for a rib?”
A police officer pulls a man over for speeding. As the officer approaches the car he can see that the man is very anxious about something.
“Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?”
“Yes, officer… I know I was speeding — but it is a matter of life or death.”
“Oh, really? How’s that?”
“There’s a naked woman waiting for me at home.”
“I don’t see how that is a matter of life or death.”
“If I don’t get home before my wife does, I’m a dead man.”