Posts Tagged ‘truck’

Bad truck driver

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, a cup of coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three motorcycles pulled up outside.

The three bikers came in, seemingly bored and just looking for trouble.
One of them grabbed the trucker’s cheeseburger out of his hand and took a huge bite from it, the second one took a swig of the trucker’s coffee and the third one wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn’t say a word, merely got up, paid the cashier and left.

As soon as he was gone, the bikers started to snicker to one another and congratulate each other on just how “bad” they’d all been. When the waiter finally walked up to them, one of the bikers growled, “He sure wasn’t much of a man now was he?”

“He sure isn’t much of a driver either,” the waiter replied. “Seems he just backed his 18-wheeler over three
Harley-Davidsons!”

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Truck driver and lawyers

Sunday, June 14th, 2009

A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying “THUMP”, and then swerve back onto the road.

(at this point some of you are probably wondering how the trucker could distinguish the lawyers from the humans. Obviously he saw the trail of slime they left!)

One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.

He asked the priest, “Where are you going, Father?”

“I’m going to the church 5 miles down the road,” replied the priest.

“No problem, Father! I’ll give you a lift. Climb in the truck.” The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.

Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud “THUD”. Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn’t see anything, he turned to the priest and said, “I’m sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer.”

“That’s okay”, replied the priest. “I got him with the door!”

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Worst day of my life

Saturday, June 13th, 2009

There’s this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t see a man crying.” “No, it’s not that. Today day is the worst of my life. First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outrageous, fired me. When I left the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they said they could do nothing. I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my whole wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison …”

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