Posts Tagged ‘train’

Train window argument

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

Two women sitting in the same compartment of an older train were locked in a heated argument over the window. One of them wanted it up and the other wanted it down.

In the end the conductor was called in to settle the dispute. Said one: “If the window is up, I won’t be able to breathe. I’ll suffocate.” Said the other: “If the window is down, I’ll catch my death of cold.” Understandably, the conductor was perplexed.

“Well now, I think the pair of them should be willing to compromise,” suggested a businessman who had been forced to spend the entire journey standing up. “Why don’t we first have the window up and suffocate No. 1, and then have it down to kill off No. 2? And after that perhaps we’ll all get some peace and quiet!”

Kissing in the tunnel

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009

There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.
The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.’
Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.’
And the Scotsman was thinking: ‘This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make that kissing noise and slap that English b**tard again .