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Priest

Posts Tagged ‘priest’

Praying in the Traffic

Sunday, July 12th, 2009

A London police officer apprehends a cycling priest for letting go of the handlebars so he could pray while on the move: “I hate to do this, reverend, but I’m going to have to fine you five pounds for cycling without due care on a public highway.”

“Oh golly Moses! I assure you there was no real danger, officer. Did you not notice how the guiding hand of the good Lord was steering me in and out of the traffic?”

“I can’t say I did, sir. But since you come to mention it, that’ll be another five pounds for carrying a passenger.”

Truck driver and lawyers

Sunday, June 14th, 2009

A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying “THUMP”, and then swerve back onto the road.

(at this point some of you are probably wondering how the trucker could distinguish the lawyers from the humans. Obviously he saw the trail of slime they left!)

One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.

He asked the priest, “Where are you going, Father?”

“I’m going to the church 5 miles down the road,” replied the priest.

“No problem, Father! I’ll give you a lift. Climb in the truck.” The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.

Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud “THUD”. Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn’t see anything, he turned to the priest and said, “I’m sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer.”

“That’s okay”, replied the priest. “I got him with the door!”