A girl goes to her mother and says: “Mum, I think I’m pregnant”
The mother says: “But didn’t I tell you to take the necessary measures?”
The daughter replies: “But thats just what I did, I measured them all and then went with the biggest…”
Posts Tagged ‘pregnant’
The necessary measures
Thursday, July 2nd, 2009First child
Saturday, June 27th, 2009A father-to-be gets into a panic when his wife suddenly goes into labor. He calls up the local hospital and appeals for immediate help: “Er…this is an emergency…we need an ambulance right away…the contractions keep coming every two minutes!”
“Is this her first child?” enquires the nurse.
“No, it’s her husband, you idiot!”
Hold the lantern, Mike
Friday, May 29th, 2009Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes’ wife is begins to deliver the baby. The local doctor is there in attendance. “What d’ya want me to do, Doctor?” “Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!” the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.
“Mike, you’re the proud father of a fine strapping boy.” “Saints be praised, I…” Before Mike can finish the Doctor interrupts, “Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mike.” Soon the doctor delivers the next child. “You’ve a full set now, Mike. A beautiful baby daughter.”
“Thanks be to…”
Again the Doctor cuts in, “Hold the lantern, Mike, Hold the lantern!” Soon the Doctor delivers a third child. The doctor
holds up the baby for Mike’s inspection.
“Doctor,” asks Mike, “Do you think it’s the light that’s attracting them?”