“Haven’t I seen you before?” = “Nice ass.”
“I’m a Romantic.” = “I’m poor.”
“I need you” = “My hand is tired.”
“I am different from all the other guys” = “I am not circumcised.”
“I want a commitment.” = “I’m sick of masturbation.”
“You’re the only girl I’ve ever cared about” = “You are the only girl who hasn’t rejected me.”
“I really want to get to know you better.” = “So I can tell my friends about it.”
“It’s just orange juice, try it.” = “3 more shots, and she’ll have her legs around my head.”
“She’s kinda cute.” = “I want to have sex with her till I am blue.”
“I don’t know if I like her” = “She won’t sleep with me.”
“I miss you so much” = “I am so horny that my male-roommate is starting to look good.”
“Was it good for you?” = “I’m insecure about my manhood.”
“How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?” = “Is my penis really that small?”
“I had a wonderful time last night.” = “Who the hell are you?”
“Do you love me?” = “I’ve done something stupid and you might find out.”
“Do you really love me?” = “I’ve done something stupid and you’re going to find out sooner or later.”
“How much do you love me?” = “I’ve done something really stupid and someone’s on their way to tell you now.”
“I have something to tell you.” = “Get tested.”
“I’ll give you a call.” = “I’d rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again.”
“I’ve been thinking a lot.” = “You’re not as attractive as when I was drunk.”
“I think we should just be friends.” = “You’re ugly.”
“I’ve learned a lot from you.” = “Next!!!!”