In the Sunday school the teacher is talking about the Ten God Commandments. After finishing the commandment that one must respect his parents, he asked: “Who can tell me, is there a commandment saying how we should treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without hesitation one little boy replied
“Yes - Thou shall not kill!”
Posts Tagged ‘god’
The Ten God Commandments
Monday, July 20th, 2009What does God look like
Monday, July 20th, 2009A kindergarten teacher asked the children to draw a picture of their choice. While she was checking their drawings she saw the little Amie drawing very hard and focused in the picture. She went to her and asked what she is drawing.
“I am drawing God” she replied
“But… noone knows what does God look like!” said the confused teacher
Without stopping drawing Amie said
“Well, everyone will find out in a minute”
Preacher playing golf on sunday
Monday, July 13th, 2009There was once a preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was a complete and utter obsession.
One Sunday it was an absolutely perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, there was no wind, there were no clouds in the sky and the temperature was just right. The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do and finally the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him he was too sick to take the Sunday service, he loaded up the car and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Without a care in the world he began to play the course.
An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to the Lord and said, “Look at that preacher. I think he should be punished for what he is doing.” The Lord nodded in agreement.
The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture-perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.
The angel was a little shocked. He turned to the Lord and said, “Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him.”
The Lord smiled. “Think about it — who can he tell?”
Where is God?
Tuesday, June 30th, 2009A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town their two young sons were in some way involved. The parents were at their wits end as to what to do about their sons’ behavior. The mother had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought they should send the boys to speak with the clergyman. The husband said, “We might as well. We need to do something before I really lose my temper!” The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them individually. The 8-year-old went to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, “Where is God?” The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God?” Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face, “WHERE IS GOD?” At that the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home slamming himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, “What happened?” The younger brother replied, “We are in BIG
trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!”
God is watching!
Thursday, June 25th, 2009The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
The faithful one
Wednesday, June 17th, 2009A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud, “Lord grant me one wish.”
Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish”.
The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to.”
The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me.”
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I have been married and divorced four times. All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say “nothing” and how I can make a woman truly happy.”
After a few minutes God said, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?”
Harley Davidson and God
Tuesday, May 12th, 2009Harley Davidson died and went to heaven and was boasting to god how he had createdthe best motor bike in the world. God disagreed with Harley and said BMW were a better designed Bike. Harley said what do you know about design you created woman and lookat the problems we have with them.
God says ahem and replied back to Harley
“I Think you will find a lot more men are riding my creation than yours.”