Posts Tagged ‘fun’

What goes up a hill with three legs?

Sunday, May 17th, 2009

A programmer and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from Los Angeles to New York.

The programmer leans over to the engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and is a lot of fun. He explains “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll pay you $5.”

Again, the engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep.

The programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, “OK, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll pay you $100!”

This catches the engineer’s attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game.

The programmer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The engineer doesn’t say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the programmer.

Now, it’s the engineer’s turn. He asks the programmer “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?”

The programmer looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers–all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $100. The engineer politely takes the $100 and turns away to try to get back to sleep. The programmer, more than a little miffed, shakes the engineer and asks “Well, so what’s the answer?” Without a word, the engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the programmer $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

Cannibals, Developers and Managers

Saturday, May 16th, 2009

Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: “You’re all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don’t trouble the other employees”. The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.

Four weeks later the boss returns and says: “You’re all working very hard, and I’m very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?” The cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the boss
has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: “Which of you idiots ate the developer?”

One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: “You FOOL! For four weeks we’ve been eating team
leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now YOU ate one developer and it got noticed. So hereafter please
don’t eat a person who is working.”

Alcohol challenge

Friday, May 15th, 2009

Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk…
a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you’re drunk…
a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you’re drunk…
a) Thanks, but I don’t want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight?
f) I’m not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn’t - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I’d hate to look like a fool.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.