Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /media/disk-2/htdocs/workcountdown.com/htdocs/blog/wp-settings.php on line 520

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /media/disk-2/htdocs/workcountdown.com/htdocs/blog/wp-settings.php on line 535

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /media/disk-2/htdocs/workcountdown.com/htdocs/blog/wp-settings.php on line 542

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /media/disk-2/htdocs/workcountdown.com/htdocs/blog/wp-settings.php on line 578

Deprecated: Function set_magic_quotes_runtime() is deprecated in /media/disk-2/htdocs/workcountdown.com/htdocs/blog/wp-settings.php on line 18
Fly

Posts Tagged ‘fly’

Tight skirt

Friday, July 3rd, 2009

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini Skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket.

As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn’t!

So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give little more slack and again was unable to make the step.

About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line Picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.

Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, Screeching at him, “How dare you touch my body!! I don’t even know who you are!”

At this the Texan drawled “Well ma’am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends.”

Mixed animals

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009

The rabbit is walking trough the woods, looking for some place to browse. Suddenly he sees a field and some animal on it. The animal was so ugly and strange looking that the rabbit went to it and asked “What are you?!”. The animal replied: “I am ass-ram”. “What you mean ass-ram?! There is no such animal!” said the rabbit. “Well, you see - my mom was an ass, and my father was a ram, so… I am ass-ram” explained the animal
The rabbit moved on, looking for another field to browse alone without any hideous animals. Suddenly he came to another field with another strange looking animal.
“What are you?” asked the rabbit. “I am sheep-giraffe”. “No way! Let me guess - your mother was a sheep and your father was a giraffe, right?” exclaimed the rabbit. “That’s right! Perfect guess!” confirmed the strange looking animal.
The rabbit moved on looking for a field free of any mixed animals but he kept meeting some lama-horses, dog-foxes and even worse animals.
Finally he came on an green meadow, free of any weird animals and started browsing happily.
Suddenly something started flying and buzzing around his head very annoyingly. The thing landed on the rabbit’s nose and the rabbit smashed it so hard that even he fell on the ground. After a minute when he stopped seeing dancing stars around his head he stood up and looked for the insect. Found it on the ground and asked it “What the hell are you?”. The insect looked at him and answered “A horse fly!”
“NO WAY!!!!”

Spit it out!

Thursday, May 28th, 2009

One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling:
“SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BAS**RD!!!!”