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Child

Posts Tagged ‘child’

Obsessions

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

“You all have obsessions,” he observed. To the first mother he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy.” He turned to the second mom. “Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” He turned to the third mom. “Your obsession is alcohol and your child’s name is Brandy.”

At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered,
“Come on, Dick, let’s go home.”

First child

Saturday, June 27th, 2009

A father-to-be gets into a panic when his wife suddenly goes into labor. He calls up the local hospital and appeals for immediate help: “Er…this is an emergency…we need an ambulance right away…the contractions keep coming every two minutes!”

“Is this her first child?” enquires the nurse.

“No, it’s her husband, you idiot!”